Booklet

author

Shang

Finance & Accounting

6 Signs Of Financial Abuse

6 SIGNS OF FINANCIAL ABUSE

DON'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH THEY MAKE

REFUSE TO GIVE YOU ACCESS TO ACCOUNTS

GIVING YOU AN ALLOWANCE

CONSTANT CRITICISM OF NECESSARY SPENDING

SPENDING BEHIND YOUR BACK

LARGE FINANCIAL DECISIONS WITHOUT CONSULTING YOU

AVOIDING FINANCIAL ABUSE

QUESTIONS TO ASK

  • HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOUR MONEY?
  • HOW DID YOUR FAMILY HANDLE MONEY?
  • WHAT ARE YOUR FINANCIAL GOALS?
  • WHAT STEPS ARE YOU TAKING TO ACHIEVE THOSE GOALS?
  • DO YOU HAVE ANY DEBT? WHY OR WHAT KIND?

RED FLAGS

THINK TWICE BEFORE PROCEEDING IN THE RELATIONSHIP

DEFLECTION

Changing the subject, not wanting to discuss money, not interested in discussing

LACK OF TRANSPARENCY

Refusing to show you their income, expenses, debts

CONTROL

Does not want to partner together in making financial decisions. Wants sole responsibility

LYING

Dishonesty of any kind

AVOIDING FINANCIAL ABUSE: KEY POINTS

TOTAL TRANSPARENCY

All abuse centers on control. You don't have to have joint accounts if you don't want to, but both partners should have full view and access to all finances.

ONE WORKING SPOUSE

If one partner stays home while the other works, this is NOT a reason for the at home partner to be treated any less in finances. BOTH parties should be treated as equals in all financial decision making.

DON'T TAKE IT AT FACE VALUE

Does your partner talk big but never seem to follow through on anything? This is a red flag. Let the numbers speak for themselves if they don't match the words. No dishonesty should be tolerated.

LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

Not everyone knows a lot about finances and it can be an intimidating topic. It's ok if your partner is nervous, but they have to be willing to overcome that and learn and share. Avoidance is not a sign of maturity or growth.

FINANCIAL CONSIDERATIONS

01 Zero based budgeting - tracking every dollar spent is not abusive|! Only requiring one spouse to do this or only holding one accountable IS. Budgeting should be a partnership - not one person defending themselves and reporting to the other

02 Debt and poor finances - did they go through a bad divorce? Are they rebuilding after terrible financial habits? Just because someone has a bad financial situation right now does not mean it's an immediate red flag. Talk about it, discuss it, make sure they have a plan AND they are actively following it to improve.

03 Discretionary funds - spending freely from an agreed upon discretionary fund amount without checking with your partner isn't abusive, as long as both parties agreed ahead of time how much is allowed to spend on their own.

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